By Sarah Strand

Sometimes I feel discouraged about my children’s goofiness and lack of attention when it comes to prayer and teaching them about God. I imagine other parents’ children quietly sitting at their parent’s feet with smiles on their faces as they listen to a Bible story. Or I see moms that do cute crafts to go with their Bible lesson and I feel a little inadequate.

If that is what your family time looks like, I am genuinely ecstatic for you, but that is not usually what teaching the Bible looks like at our house.

Typically it might look more like a referee match, deciding who gets to sit in my lap this time, but I press on because I know that this time will have an amazing impact on their lives and even eternity.

We can teach our kids a lot of important things, but if we neglect to teach them about the Bible and a relationship with Jesus, then at the end of their lifetime the other things we taught them are all in vain.

Here are just a few ways we can teach our kids about God. There are a lot of great Christian videos and resources, but if you don’t have any of those all you really need is a Bible.

1. Pray for your kids and ask God for wisdom on how to teach each child at the phase he/she is at. I fail in many ways to show my kids God’s love, grace and patience. I need the Holy Spirit’s help every day. Sometimes an idea comes to me on how to teach a spiritual truth and I know it is not from myself but from the Holy Spirit. God knows the hearts and personalities of each of our kids. Praying for each one of them is one of the greatest gifts we can give them

2. Teach your kids what you’re learning from the Bible. I often teach my kids what I myself learned from God’s Word that day (catered to their age level). Then I am not doing any separate planning, and I am passionate about what I’m teaching which seems to grasp their attention better.

Tell them a Bible story, how God answered one of your prayers or just teach a short verse.

It teaches God’s glory when we tell them that God is so brilliant that “He knit them together in their mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13)

Our children love to hear that God’s faster, and more powerful than any superhero.

They are comforted to know that God protect us. “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” (Psalm 34:7)

3. Make sure your kids have a place like church or a good youth group where they can learn from other mentors besides you. I think parents have the greatest potential for influence, but it is helpful for our kids (especially teens) to hear biblical truth from other mentors as well.

4. Introduce them to great Christian books and Scripture memory. (Rewards work great to give our kids motivation).

Each child is different in how they learn. Don’t get discouraged and give up if your efforts go awry, but find ways that your child learns best. We are learning right along with our children.

Sometimes our efforts turn out disastrous, but other times they just stick. It’s worth the effort. Leading our children to Jesus, who will be with them when we can’t be, is truly is the greatest blessing we can ever give our children.

Sarah Strand has been married to Teaching Pastor Jason Strand for 10 years. Together they have four children. Prior to staying home with their kids, Sarah worked as a marriage and family therapist. She blogs at writeitonarock.com.

By Greg Grimstad

Who was your role model growing up?

For some who were blessed, it was your parents. For others, it was a coach, a teacher or a mentor who came alongside you. For others, it was a star athlete or an actor, singer or other public figure. It seems we all have that wiring in us to look to others to follow. We desire qualities and talents that we don’t have. Growing up, my role models were a combination of different football, basketball and baseball stars. But then, all of a sudden, they retired, or got injured or the press revealed that they were on steroids and I was let down. It’s hard to find a role model these days (my mind is playing the old Charles Barkley commercial when he says, “I am not a role model…”). So, where should we look to find one?

This weekend we’re going to celebrate Easter. In the midst of planning meals, getting our families dressed up and perhaps putting together a basket or two of goodies, I think it’s a good time to look at our ultimate role model–Jesus Christ. I’ve recently been reflecting on Philippians 2. Paul writes that if we have any encouragement, love, fellowship–any tenderness or compassion that results from our relationship with Christ–then we’re to put those into practice as we relate to others. He is using a writing style that actually suggests that we do have this.

Christ modeled this for us. God became a man–an incredible humbling act–and came to this earth and walked and ministered among us. But He came ultimately to die on the cross in our place, laying down His divine rights to be the perfect sacrifice for us. He rose again, so that we can have a new life that is found in Him. God showed us what love, service and sacrifice was all about.

I love the quote from the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, the late Dr. Bill Bright, “The secret of contentment is living life without any rights.” That was Jesus. He came to serve and He asks us to serve and to love others. How are you doing in this area? I’m still a work in progress.

Be sure to make it to church this weekend to celebrate the greatest example of love there is.

Seek Him – His example – His life.

Visit eaglebrookchurch.com for locations and service times.

 Greg is a Central Pastor at Eagle Brook. He and his wife Sue have been married 31 years, and are the parents of two married adult daughters. They also have three grandchildren, Hudson, Samuel and Elsa. He tweets @ggrimstad.

By Jamie Francis

I often find myself staying up-to-date on parenting articles and resources due to my role as a Pastor of Early Childhood Ministry. I recently read an article geared toward parents that started out by explaining that from the time your child is born until he leaves for college, you have 940 Saturdays to spend with him. Initially, 940 sounds like a lot, but if your child is five years old and heading to Kindergarten, you have already used up more than 250 Saturdays with him. If your child is heading into her freshman year of high school, you have less than 200 Saturdays left before she leaves for college.

I have been around kids enough to know that each day can seem like a mini-eternity, filled with diaper changes, noisy toys, goldfish cracker crumbs, and nose-wiping. Slammed doors, text messages, sleepless sleepovers and calls from school. While the days seem long, the years really do fly by, and before you know it, you’ll realize how quickly your Saturdays are slipping through your fingers.

One of the most effective parenting strategies is to simply take advantage of everyday opportunities to love your children and instill the right values in them—to be the best parent you can be and make each day count.

Like most parents, you are probably overwhelmed with daily life and wondering where to start. Here are some simple ways for you to make every day count:

1.  Prayer—pray for your children and pray with your children. Model for them the importance of talking to God.
2. Laughter—it is scientifically proven that laughter has its benefits. Laughter connects us to others, and having fun with your family creates positive memories and strengthens your relationships with each other. Be silly together!
3. Time—you will never regret spending free time with your kids. You have 940 Saturdays. Use them wisely!
4. Conversation—ask your kids questions. What do they love? What scares them?  Learn about your kids.
5. Dinner—Life is hectic, but dinner together is proven to strengthen families. Unplug from the world and pay attention to each other. One of the ways my family did this is by having everyone around the table share his or her “highs” (best thing of the day) and “lows” (low point of the day).

Remember, you can’t do it all. You are a real person with real limits, and that is okay—but start small and do your best to make the most of the days that you have.

Jamie Francis is the Pastor of Early Childhood Ministry at our Lino Lakes campus. She moved from Indiana to Minnesota in 2007 to attend Northwestern College and graduated with a Children and Family Ministry degree in 2011. She has been on staff for two years. Jamie lives in Hugo, loves to travel and tweets at @jamiefrancis.

By John Alexander

Recently, our small group of six young married couples with eight (soon to be nine) kids between us under the age of three was discussing the difference between creating a comfortable margin in life versus this idea of sacrifice.

On one hand, Jesus says in Mark 10:42-45, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to serve, to live radical lives of sacrifice in Jesus’ name for other people.

But in another teaching, Jesus says, “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:31-34

At first glance, at least to our small group, this seems to be opposite teachings. In the first scripture, Jesus is telling us to live sacrificially for other people. In the second scripture, Jesus is telling us to “seek the Kingdom of God first” and “don’t worry about tomorrow.” In other words, seek God first, live with some margin so you aren’t stressed, and chill.

As parents, we want to fully embrace this tension in front of our kids. There will be days when we need to sacrifice all we have and serve those among us, including our kids. But we also need to live with some breathing room, some margin, so we aren’t living so exhaustively that we don’t have time for what’s most important—our relationships.

This week, as you consider your own relationship with Jesus, ask yourself:

Do you need more margin, more breathing room, so you aren’t worrying so much about tomorrow? Or, do you need to up the sacrifice quotient and find ways to involve yourself in more service to others?

It’s an unresolved tension, but one we must fully embrace and live within as followers of Christ.

John Alexander has been on staff as the Junior High Teaching Pastor at Eagle Brook Church since August 2010. He has been married to Emily (Early Childhood Pastor at WBL) for almost 55 months and they have a son, Maddox, who is 19 months old. (They count in months around the house). He also has unrealistic expectations that the Seattle Mariners are destined to win the World Series this year.

By Jeff Moser

With my hand still getting accustomed to the wedding band that now found its home on my ring finger, my wife Erin and I started unpacking what little belongings we had into our first apartment. As we sorted through our things and began to find homes for them, I was quickly stunned at where my new wife—my soul mate—decided to put the cooking utensils. Before long, I realized that the towels would be folded differently than I was accustomed to, the toiletries stowed in an unfamiliar drawer, and the household dusting to be done with a space-age looking device. I couldn’t figure out why she had all of these annoying habits while I, in turn, was such a joy to live with…

That was two and a half years ago now, and though we both still have a handful of annoyances that irritate the other, we now see them in a different light.

Ephesians 4:2 says, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

Patience changes everything, doesn’t it? It removes myself enough from the argument, or the irritation for me to realize that my response will be a picture of love to my wife—for good or for bad. During the first months (and probably even the first year or better) of my marriage, I stunk at this. Although I wouldn’t blow up on every occasion, I was very quick to react, to become annoyed, and to tell Erin exactly what I thought she needed to change.

In fact, we both came up against many of these interactions. But slowly with time and a bit more maturity, we realized that the choice is ours to make—every single day. Whether it’s in the big things or the small things, we must represent the love that we have for each other with humility and gentleness. Some annoyances may simply be our chance to “make allowance” and even “overlook” (see Proverbs 12:16) a small thing that needs to affect us less, and others may require a conversation conducted in love so that we may better serve each other as husband and wife. Whichever it is, it is my hope that I may better represent the man who God has created me to be—the one who I get the privilege of hearing my wife call “husband.”

Jeff Moser has been a worship leader at Eagle Brook Church since September of 2011. He and his wife of two and a half years, Erin, along with their dog, Lola, live in Coon Rapids. He tweets every so often @jeffrey_moser and blogs even less at jeffreymoser.wordpress.com.

By Sarah Strand

Every marriage has conflict. The question is, does the conflict drive a wedge between you or are you able to come to a point of reconciliation? If you find yourself discouraged, here are six principles that might help you set the tone for healthier conflict in your home.

1. Set a rule: no name calling or physical harm. It seems obvious, but this rule sets the stage for safety in your marriage if you say that under no circumstances will we let this go on in our marriage.

2. Take a break if you need. If you feel your anger rising, rather than barging out of the room which leaves your spouse to feel vulnerable, say “I’ll be back in 10 minutes I need a break.” During that time it’s helpful to spend time in prayer, maybe even journal. When I need a break I often ask Jesus to help me forgive Jason so I can come back with a softer heart.

3. Let some things go. When Jason and I are tired and crabby we will all too often make a small remark that will hurt the other. Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Jason is better at this than I am. If I make a rude comment he sometimes gives me grace with a gentle answer or doesn’t respond and I am immediately convicted of my crabby mood or bratty statement. What could have become heated very fast is quickly simmered down when we respond gently to one another.

4. Stay away from “always” “never” statements. Use “I” statements instead. For example, “you’re always late,” will probably result in defensiveness. Instead say something like, “when you’re late I feel like you don’t care about my plans.” (This might be an example from our own home ).

5. Comfort yourself with memorized Bible verses. For example, all marriages go through trials, and God promises to use all things for the good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). God can use your trial perhaps to help someone or to transform you.

6. Humble yourself by using the word SORRY. I heard an author say that if you want to become more humble, say you’re sorry. I find myself fighting internally on whether or not to apologize first, especially when I think it’s the majority Jason’s fault. But, what can I lose? My pride. Well, maybe that’s a good thing…

Sarah Strand has been married to Teaching Pastor Jason Strand for 10 years. Together they have four children. Prior to staying home with their kids, Sarah worked as a marriage and family therapist. She blogs at writeitonarock.com.

By Trent Anderson

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but I recently found two valentines from the past as I was sifting through my desk at work. I kept these valentines as keepsakes, and I actually forgot about them until I stumbled across them today. They were from my two daughters, Taite and Tessah. When I first received them years ago, I stored them away for encouragement. However, today, they were more than that. As I looked at these cards, I was reminded of the work my girls spent creating these, and why they chose me to be their Valentine.

That was three years ago and I still believe I’m their Valentine, today. But in reading Tessah’s card this time, it made me realize just how thankful I am that I read to my kids every night. Each night I would sit in the hallway at about 8:30 pm and share stories that taught them about character. I read missionary stories, The Dream Giver, Bible stories from the Family Times Curriculum, The Sugar Creek Gang, and articles that taught them about character. That was when my kids were younger and had the same bedtime routine—ages 7, 8 and 10. Now, my kids are getting to bed at different times, sometimes even later than me (ages 13, 14 and 16) due to homework, sports, and their challenging schedules. I’ve learned new ways to help them grow in their faith, but those nightly bedtime routines helped lay a biblical foundation.

As I reflected on that Valentine, I felt a great source of relief. I was happy I hadn’t let those six years of time slip away from me. I was thankful that I spent more than 2,160 nights reading something of worth to them as they fell asleep, or I fell asleep. There were many evenings when my kids would yell to me from their room to wake up because I had apparently drifted off to sleep while I was reading. Those nights took energy that I sometimes didn’t have, but I am so glad that I made the effort to carve out the time to pour those words of encouragement into them. Today, that is part of what is inspiring them and helping them make the choices they make. I, too, hope you will make ways that shape your kids’ character, and lead them into being the best godly men and women that they can be.

Trent Anderson is the central care pastor at Eagle Brook Church. He and his wife, Beth, have three kids and live in White Bear Lake.

By Tahni Cullen

In 1988, I was at a junior high dance swaying awkwardly with a boy that was slightly shorter than me as the Poison power ballad “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” pierced the air. I remember thinking, “Man that is so true! Every rose does have its thorn. Yeah.” That was the extent of my really deep thought at that age. All the songs back then had an agonizing undertone. Love was defined by both sweetness and strife. Passion and pain. That was simply to be expected.

And then after that I didn’t have a boyfriend for a really long time. But as I regularly tuned in to Casey’s Weekly Top 40 and heard the pining lovers agonizing over their requests and dedications, I felt it. The complexity of love—whether you’re in it, out of it, or hoping it will ask you for your phone number.

Did you know that 198 million roses will be bought this Valentine’s Day? All of those roses will have their thorns. For the stunning flower, the thorns are a defense mechanism. The sweet fragrance is attractive to chomping animals, so the stronger the fragrance, the longer and sharper the rose’s thorns—to protect itself.

Now after nearly 15 years of marriage, I admit at times that I still try to protect myself from risking the pain that could come when you dare to love all the way. What if my feelings get hurt? Like a rose, I long to be a beautiful, approachable person, and yet, I want to have the option to keep my thorns.

Marriage, the Bible says, is a “huge mystery” when a wife and husband are no longer two, but become one flesh. Choosing to keep thorns, even for self-protection, will always cause pain and create barriers to intimacy. One day I asked the Lord, “What are my thorns? Will you take them away?”

In her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, Brene Brown asserts that as early as childhood we learn to protect ourselves from vulnerability—from being hurt, diminished or disappointed—by putting on emotional armor. But that armor is a barrier for connection. They are the things that can keep people from getting too close, and that also keep us from living wholeheartedly.

Some common vulnerability shields (or thorns) are:

1. Believing that when things are going well, disaster is probably right around the corner, so we guard ourselves from too much joy.

2. Trying to be perfect, or at least appearing that way, to avoid judgment or shame.

3. Numbing ourselves to our true feelings, instead of leaning in to the discomfort of hard emotions.

But every rose has its thorn. Or does it? There is a rose that the Bible speaks of and it absolutely has no thorns. It’s called the “Rose of Sharon,” and in Song of Solomon 2:1-2 (this book will give you a biblical blush), the young female lover identifies herself as this kind of rose. To which her lover compliments, “Compared with other women, you are a lily among thorns.” Great thanks to the Lover of our souls. He wore a crown of thorns so that we could shed ours, learning to grow into and embrace His perfect, fearless kind of love.

Tahni Cullen is the Ministry Director at EBC’s Spring Lake Park campus, and has worked at Eagle Brook for 12 years. She has been married to Joe for 14 years and has a son, Josiah (7). You can follow their journey with autism at her blog hopingnotcoping.wordpress.com.

By Amanda Nephew

As a therapist, I have the privilege of hearing a lot of people’s stories. It’s no small thing to have strangers trust you with the narratives of their life. Some of these stories are tragically complicated, others are more simple. However, a common theme that I hear repeated over and over again is loss. It’s the “ordinary” losses like the death of a relative, the ending of a relationship, or sudden unemployment that impacts people so deeply. I also see the effects of something called ambiguous loss. This is the type of loss that you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s unseen, like an infertility struggle, the spouse’s military deployment, a parent with dementia who no longer recognizes you, an addiction stealing your spouse, an empty nest, or the chronic illness that has changed your child. Sometimes it happens suddenly and other times it occurs over time, but it almost always lacks closure.

This last year I have experienced both types of loss as I went through some major transitions. In a very short time, we sold our house and moved into a temporary space, I finished graduate school and my husband joined a seven month worldwide tour with a band. Now, all of that sounds exciting, right? Well, it is! But, when the dust settled, I was sad. I was still thinking of myself as a homeowner, a busy student and an active wife. But all that was physically gone. I felt as if I had lost everything that was familiar to me within a matter of weeks. My home, my schedule, my colleagues, my husband, and my norm. So, what did I do? I looked to God and remembered that my loss was not unnoticed by him. He knew how I was feeling and what I needed even when I didn’t. I felt His sweet comfort and His strong presence.

God sees the unseen. Other’s might not understand or validate your loss, but God…

Cares— “Cast all your worries and cares to God, because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Understands— “Oh, Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me…Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand.” Psalm 139:1,6

Is Ready to minister to you in the way only He can- “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4; “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Your loss might be seemingly small or completely overwhelming. No matter where it falls on the spectrum, if it is important to you, it is important to God. Let Him in on it and allow Him to be your strength, your comfort and your caring Father.

Amanda Nephew is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and has a private practice in Lino Lakes. She and Jasper have been married for seven years. Check out her website amandanephew.com and follow posts at facebook.com/AmandaNephewTherapyServices.